Our cornfield has become a battlefield - it's us versus the birds. With prices for fresh corn as high as $9 a dozen, it's a skirmish worth fighting.
My new alarm clock has become the sound of Big Guy's shotgun just after sunrise. Usually one scout bird comes first, followed by the rest of the flock.
Today Big Guy is off the farm, so Kitten and I are in charge. Good thing I froze corn yesterday for our freezer.
The birds peck at the very tip of the cob, leaving it bare, brown and ugly. I've seen another farm advertise "bird pecked corn" as a bargain, but I can't wrap my mind around that idea myself. Would you buy that?
So how do I keep birds off the corn? Well, I don't feel confident using Big Guy's approach. You know I'd end up shattering someone's car window or something.
My approach is softer, gentler, and more low-tech. Like a lot of other things I do, it's also unconventional.
Now it would be neat to say that I take out the birdies with a birdie.
But there is no way my aim would be that good. I would be lucky to hit the birdie at all. What I actually do is walk around the block of corn stalks, banging these two racquets together.
I can almost hear the birds (and no doubt, the neighbours) laughing at me. But they fly off (the birds that is, I have no idea what the neighbours do).
It's unclear whether it's to seek quieter feeding grounds, or to report the spectacle to their little friends. (Hey, Fred, you know how we scoff at sound cannons and shotguns that try to keep us off the corn? You wouldn't believe the lame lady I just saw banging badminton racquets. Funniest thing I ever saw.)